Always: A Wife and Mother's Love
by Shychick
Summary: What if Lily had survived? What if James' sacrifice protected both her and Harry? How will Lily respond when she learns of Snape bullying her son? One-shot. [Snape criticism. Don't like, don't read]


**TRIGGER WARNING: **This story contains heavy criticism of Snape! So, if you are one of those major Snape stans or Snily fans who believe this guy can do no wrong, then you most likely will hate this. So, it's VERY simple: Use your own discretion and common sense. Don't read. Otherwise, if you leave a review saying that I ruined your day, wasted your time, etc., then that's YOUR fault, not mine. BTW, I am a Jily fan and proud of it. :p

* * *

It was another red-letter day for Severus Snape. He had once again verbally squashed Gryffindor beneath his foot like an insect of no consequence. It was the only pleasure he got in his miserable life. Only these days, it was twice as satisfying…

It was strange. For the past ten years, ever since Dumbledore had convinced him to take the job of Potions master to help keep Harry Potter safe, Snape faced his inevitable arrival with a sense of deep dread. He hadn't known anything about the boy, except that he had precisely _her_ eyes, a bit of excruciating trivia bluntly provided by the Headmaster the day after the attack on Godric's Hollow. Dumbledore always was very close to the Potters, and continued to be so with Lily after her husband's death, which was why Snape all but forbade him from ever telling him a thing about Potter's spawn. He couldn't bear to hear it.

But two weeks ago, when he first laid sight on him at the Sorting ceremony, Snape was met with incredibly mixed feelings, both rivaling the other in their intensity. He found himself filled with great loathing at the sight of _James Potter's exact double_, who dared to possess Lily's eyes (the unworthy little swine), countered by a sense of gleeful anticipation at the chance to finally exact his revenge on the man who ultimately ruined his life- including stealing Lily away from him. Because he just knew that young Potter would be every bit as much an arrogant miscreant…

Snape had continued to monitor Potter off-and-on during the Start-of-Term Feast. At one point, those emerald orbs he still desperately coveted- which _used to_ bring him joy- met his, and a spike of fury shot through his veins.

Sure enough, Potions with the Gryffindor First-Years would prove to be torture for Snape, having no choice but to face those same windows to the soul in every class. It would be that way for the remainder of their seven years together. Punishment, no doubt, for all his mistakes. Thank Merlin Severus Snape had long ago learned to master his emotions and supress a lifetime of memories, almost to the point of non-existence. His second-to-none Occulemency skills and hatred for James Potter combined, he had also recently learned to overlook the only physical reminder of Lily, which made tormenting the brat all the easier.

Lost in these thoughts, Snape had just prepared himself a cup of tea to try to enjoy before his next class, when he was disrupted by sharp knocking at his office door. Sighing with a scowl, he called out in his usual cold voice, "It's open."

And in walked the last person he could have possibly expected, the one whom had occupied his mind more than ever as of late.

Lily Potter née Evans.

Snape barely noticed the anger in her face. He was completely numb, extremities jellified, as though hit with a great shockwave. Reality and fantasy became virtually indistinguishable.

"Lily?" he stammered, once he could finally speak.

"Hello, Severus," she said coldly. Only now did he realize her less-than-warm demeanor toward him.

"It… it has been a long time." He gripped the back of his chair tightly.

Lily strode into the room, her dark red hair swishing like flames. "Severus Snape, give me one good reason why I shouldn't curse you into next year." Her voice was steady, furious, like the growling of a mother lioness.

"I- I don't quite understand." What was happening? Where was this going?

"My son, Severus! Did you or did you not blatantly single out, belittle, and humiliate Harry in his first Potions class?"

Ah. Merlin's beard…

"He wrote to me, telling me about his first week of school," Lily continued. "Most understandably, he was very confused as to why you seem to hate him so. Especially when he's done nothing wrong!"

"Lily," Snape began, after mentally taking a deep breath, "you, of all people, surely know how Potter is very like his father?" His voice was matter-of-fact, with a large tinge of reasoning.

"Of course I have," replied Lily proudly.

"Then you must know how arrogant, insolent, and lazy he is. I daresay that perhaps he was Sorted into the wrong House after all, if he is so quick to go crying to you when his teacher acts within his right to call him out on it."

Although it hadn't been Snape's intention to goad Lily- never his Lily- it was evidentially the wrong thing to say. Her brilliant eyes blazed, and Snape almost flinched under them.

"How _dare_ you! Do you really think you know my own son better than I do?" she demanded.

Snape tried again. "Lily, I don't know how he is at home, but I would be remiss if I let you leave with a false impression of his attitude and conduct at school. It seems that his fame- along with the same small amount of talent on the Quidditch pitch as his father- has given him quite the swollen head, thinking himself above rules. For instance, if it were up to me, I would not have rewarded him for his little flight of fancy, but rather-"

"I'll stop you right there," snapped Lily. "Yes, like James, Harry has always been an _excellent _flier, ever since he was a year old. I couldn't be prouder that he became the youngest Seeker in a century, and James would be too! But I'll have you know that Harry was _not_ showing off when he disobeyed Madam Hooch's orders. He was getting back a personal belonging of Neville Longbottom- you know, the son of renowned Aurors Frank and Alice Longbottom, whom your old friends the Lestranges tortured into insanity right after Voldemort's downfall. Draco Malfoy, who I understand you particularly favor, was the one who deliberately broke the rules when he stole Neville's Remembrall." She fixed Snape with a crisp, level gaze. "You're quite known for your overt bias for your House, Severus, but I am _disgusted_ at your hypocrisy. Conveniently overlooking bullying from the Slytherins, practically encouraging it, and worst of all- bullying other students as a teacher! It's one thing to be stern, but to be absolutely cruel-"

It was Snape's turn to interject. "Potter has none of your knowledge nor appitude for Potions."

"And that's his fault? You know very well you're just bitter that he happened to inherit James' flying skills instead! More to the point, you're bitter he's the son of James and I! Don't you _dare_ push your old obsession and grudge onto Harry!"

"He is the spitting image of his wretched father, but he has your eyes!" Snape finally exploded, despite himself.

There was a wall of silence between them. They stared at one-another, Snape heavily exhaling through his hooked nose, Lily's expression stonier than ever.

"Again, that is not Harry's fault," Lily told him. "And with that, you've proven the point I just made. You've further proven how stuck in the past you truly are." She shook her head, as though she couldn't make up her mind if she felt more disgust or pity for him.

Given the choice, he'd rather take the former.

"I mean, do you _hear_ yourself, Severus? Have you ever really taken a long, hard look at yourself? Making an innocent boy a target just because you can't let go of an old schoolboy animosity- against a man who is no longer even _alive_?" Lily sounded like she was choking back tears. "Making our son a target because you can't move on from the fact that James and I fell in love? We're not teenagers anymore, Severus! Why can't you move on from your petty jealousies? Have you forgotten that you were the one who chose to throw away our friendship- to ultimately dishonour the very memory of it- for your attraction, and eventual commitment, to such evil people and acts? How it was partly by your hand that my family was torn apart... which, apparently, wasn't _good enough for you_?"

She pushed on, while he stood there stupidly gaping with his eyes bulging, "I want to make this very plain. James may have had his share of faults in his youth, but his good qualities far outweighed the negative. Besides always abhorring the Dark Arts and pureblood supremacy, unlike you and your gang of future Death Eaters who had no qualms about cruelty against those of my birth, James- a pureblood in a time of war, no less- refused to judge Sirius for his Dark family name... rather than shun Remus for his lycanthropy, went to incredible lengths to support him, despite the risk of expulsion… risked his life to save yours, after you nearly let your obsession with exposing Remus's private condition get out-of-hand (and we both know you would never have done the same for James)… take Sirius into his home after his mother disowned him… join the underground movement against Voldemort... marry the Muggle-born witch whose values and beliefs he not only respected but shared, alongside whom he would go on to thrice defy Voldemort...and finally, defy Voldemort one last time by standing between him and his family, sacrificing himself for the Wizarding world as well as Harry and I!"

* * *

"_You dare oppose me, James Potter?" Voldemort hissed, glaring through snake-like slits at the fiercely determined 21-year-old man who stood before him, straight-backed and proud. _

_A sound of soft, twisted amusement slithered out of him. "You, who have not even your wand at the ready? You, along with your Mudblood wife, foolishly believed that your safety lies in friends and that weapons can be discarded for even a moment?" Those terrifying, soulless eyes glinted. "Not that it would have made any difference for very long, of course." _

_Horrified, hating himself for his own stupidity, James realized that he was right. He had forgotten his wand back in the living room. After all Mad-Eye had drilled into the Order about "constant vigilance." He was a disgrace, a failure. How could he even attempt to buy them time now? _DAMN YOU, PETER! WHY? _he mentally cried out._

"_I'll never let you touch my son," James snarled. _I love you, my dear Lily-flower. I love you, Harry, my precious little fawn. No man will ever love the two of you like I do. Oh, forgive me! Please, for the love of God above, be safe. Be strong.

"_I have never understood such a blood-traitor as you," Voldemort was lazily saying, clearly enjoying toying with the obstacle to his real prey, as though in no particular hurry. "A highly talented, strongminded, brave pureblood- all qualities I prize- and you not only pollute your lineage, but you continually attempt to thwart me at every turn and reject the true and winning cause." _

_He paused. "As I say, you have the makings of a fine member of one of my own, Potter. That is why I am willing to give you this one last chance. Join me, and I give you my word of honor that I shall spare not only your life but that of your wife. She shall be inducted into my ranks as well, a rare honour indeed, considering her background. I admit, I have always admired her as well. Choose wisely."_

"OVER MY DEAD BODY_!" roared James, meaning it with all his heart. _

"_How very disappointing. But as you will have it! _Avada Kedavra_!"_

_The green light of the Killing Curse shot like an arrow toward its target, and James Potter collapsed like a marionette whose strings had been cut… and the curse immediately ricocheted off him toward its sender…_

…_A quarter of an hour later, Severus Snape swooped into Godric's Hollow, and was attempting to comfort the distraught widow Mrs. Potter as she mourned over her husband's body with her son safely in her arms. Snape neither knew nor cared that she had spent that time trying to be strong for both her and Harry, and for James as well, strong enough to be there for the now fatherless child. The nursery, along with much of the cottage, lay in ruins all around them._

"_Lily, oh Lily! Thank God, thank God!"_

_When his presence finally registered, Lily loudly stammered in her shock, "Severus? What are you-"_

"_It's going to be all right, Lily, I promise you. I'll take care of you!"_

"_What are you talking about?" Lily asked hoarsely._

"_It was I who alerted Dumbledore about the Dark Lord's plan to attack, Lily! After I learned of his intentions, I turned spy for Dumbledore, became his double-agent at tremendous risk to my life. I originally begged the Dark Lord to spare you and he at last agreed, as I had been the one to faithfully deliver him the Prophecy. I would have protected you to the utmost of my ability even if he had succeeded in killing the boy, but I swear that now you will never be alone!"_

_Under normal circumstances, Lily would not have been surprised to learn that her former friend had indeed joined Voldemort. But if Snape had been expecting Lily to throw herself into his arms for his sheer honesty and bravery, he was sorely mistaken. From her brain down, she had gone completely numb throughout his breathless, hasty speech. A kind of ringing seemed to be going on in her ears, growing more piercing by the second._

"_DON'T TOUCH ME! GET AWAY FROM ME AND MY SON!"_

_She would not listen to his pleas to hear him out. To listen to him explain that there was no way he could have known who the Prophecy applied to, that he couldn't very well ask Voldemort to spare the target of the Prophecy (and that he was already pushing it by requesting his master spare a Mudblood), that he betrayed Voldemort all for her, that he loved her and would do anything for her. All that mattered to Lily was that Snape, together with Peter, had sent Voldemort hunting down her family. James was dead because of them. And Snape had been more than happy to have both Harry and James killed, not caring what their deaths would do to her, as long as he thought he stood more than a snowball's chance in hell of having her all to himself._

_Her raw grief and rage exploded in a volley of accidental magic, and Snape was sent flying. _

_At the sudden roar of a motorcycle in the distance above, Snape immediately Disapparated. He would not be around to come face-to-face with Sirius. _

* * *

"_Expecto Patronum_!" cried Lily. Out of her wand erupted a silver doe, which gracefully bounded through the sunlit office and out the window.

The perfect and natural counterpart to James Potter's stag.

Snape morosely watched it leave. "So… even after all this time?" he asked.

"Always." Lily's tone and expression were resolute.

Again, neither of them said anything for a long time.

Lily was first to break the silence. "Do you think it's been easy for Harry to grow up without a father? Do you think Harry would rather be famous for his murder than have him in his life?" she hissed. "I raised him to know that his father was a hero whose love made it possible for us to live, as well as for him to grow up in a time of peace. I took him to visit his grave and monument every Sunday. He is proud to be the son of James Potter. Severus, I can't help it if you are determined to see only what you expect to see in Harry, but know this- I will _not_ tolerate your ill treatment of him. He is not to be held accountable for who his parents are, nor for how James treated you. Don't forget that he is every much part of me as he is James!"

Snape said rigidly, "I cannot deny that night was the greatest of my life, even if you were not to be mine. James Potter died and you survived. In the words of your dear late husband, perhaps it's the fact that young Mister Potter _exists_ that-"

"You make me _sick_." Lily's left hand dove into her robes for her wand, but changed her mind at the last minute as though deciding he wasn't worth it. "James eventually matured while I waited for him until Seventh Year, all the while you continued deeper and deeper down your dark path. You came to abuse your position of power as a teacher- far too generously granted to you by Dumbledore- by relentlessly bullying the students, especially the old House of James and the others... and now, especially my own son!" Her voice slightly shook. "Goodbye, Severus. There is nothing more to say."

Before leaving, Lily turned around in the doorway and said, "And Severus, you have my absolute gratitude for what you did all those years ago, even if it was for completely the wrong reasons. You can't possibly understand that my own life is nothing compared to Harry's."

Her voice wasn't anything close to loving, but it was sincere, and at least she didn't sound quite as cold or angry. Nonetheless, he could not help but wince at that last sentence, twice as sharply than hearing Lily speak the Dark Lord's name. _For HIM? _he wanted to cry. _You fool, Lily, nothing is worth than death! _

The very thought of Lily perishing at the Dark Lord's hands- especially on account of Potter's worthless son- was more than he could bear.

"But you also can't deny," concluded Lily, "at least not deep down, that your hatred for James was always greater than whatever so-called love you have for me. Nor the fact that you would still be on the other side, under different circumstances. True love is _never_ selfish, nor is it obsessive or controlling or vindictive. And perhaps you're also bitter that your master met his defeat in James, of all wizards. Well, just remember how and why whenever you look at Harry!"

She spun on her heels to leave, and Snape grabbed her arm, his face contorting in furious desperation.

"You haven't- you wont dare- breathe a word of anything to Potter...!" he sputtered almost incoherently.

Lily wrenched herself free of Snape's grasp, and shouted, "You think you have any right to demand anything of me? Our past together, our falling-out, and the connection between your history with Voldemort and my family is all my business as well. I am well within my right to explain things to Harry when he is older! And I had better not ever hear of you digging for excuses to expel him next, as you were so fixated on trying to get James expelled!"

A full minute after she had gone, Snape's legs finally gave out.

He cast his Patronus and watched it soar around him, greedily staring after it when it vanished.

Now, more than ever, Snape dearly wished he had used a love potion on Lily far back when he had the chance.


End file.
